If you’ve been following the Jay/Conan/NBC debacle at all, you know what an utter FUBAR this is. It’s not about Jay vs. Conan at all, really. It’s about NBC, a rudderless former juggernaut of a network now careening helplessly toward the brink of oblivion. The fact that this could happen in a supposedly top notch organization is hard to fathom.
Network battles with their late night talent is nothing new. Johnny Carson had ‘em. Dave Letterman sure had ‘em. Jay and Conan, more of the same. Hell, now even Jimmy Fallon and Carson Daly are having them peripherally.
Yesterday, NBC confirmed that it wants to move Jay Leno back to his old time slot of 11:35 for a 1/2 hour show, pushing Conan and “The Tonight Show” back to 12:05.
Jay and Conan have been trading swings at NBC all week, and then today, Conan issued a statement.
The missive is brilliance in itself. I’ve always dug Conan, but now, he’s approaching mega cool. The statement is all at once funny, angry, hurt, betrayed, sad, sarcastic, and poignant.
Here it is, enjoy:
“People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.
Yours,
Conan”
Conan, my hope is that you end up going to Fox, and enjoy the creative freedom and network support you so richly deserve, going back to one of the places that gave you your start on “The Simpsons”.
NBC, amidst all of this wrangling between comedians angling for punchlines, in reality it turns out that YOU are the joke.
If this had an ideal conclusion, BOTH hosts would quit the network and leave NBC with absolutely NOTHING.
